17 July 2009

Blade


Right you've heard of vampires haven't you?, like me you assumed they were a bunch of bad bastards of unknown origin, bloodthirsty shits that creep about in the shadows with pale skin and extensive canines (I don't mean long dogs, I'm teeth talking), that's what we all know and love.
Well with Blade they've rocked the boat so much they could be accused of killing leonardo DiCrapio.
Blade is a heart-warming and thought provoking journey of the trials and tribulations of the worlds only Black, Half Human, Day Walking, Kung-Fu, Vampire.. named 'Blade' (obviously! otherwise the film would likely be about knives). The film drops us smack bang in the middle of Blade's struggle to fit in with the white supremescist vampires, who are pretty much Nazis with longer hair and tattoos. The regular vampires aren't big fans of Blade due to his ability to go to the beach and wear sunglasses without looking like a twat because it's dark.
Eventually, after many fights and arguements, Blade can't take it anymore and does the cliché outcast american thing and wears a big black coat full of weapons, walks into the vampire home AND KILLS EVERYONE. tut.
This film also touches on drug addiction, the dangers of Ultra Violet rays, police corruption, obesity, and lack of sexual contact.

1 comment:

  1. This film had it's premier at a BNP weekend dinner dance and felate-athon in Wocestercesterington. I was there, the place went fucking mental. Agents clearly failed to do their jobs 'cause Wesley turned up! A semen-stained Snipes is a sight I'll never forget. He's banged up now, gather he got a taste for it.

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